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    Eeling Sad

    | Charleston, SC, USA |

    (The aquarium I work at is a non-profit organization, so we’re always accepting donations. A well dressed older lady comes up to me, and asks a question about one of the animals in the 2000 gallon tank.)

    Customer: “You see the eel? Doesn’t he just look so sad in that small tank?”

    Me: “That’s actually just the way they look and act in the wild.”

    Customer: “All the fish are swimming in circles. They just look so bored and sad.”

    Me: “I agree that it must get boring, but this is all these fish would do in the wild anyway. They would even live in a small area, like this one.”

    Customer: “Well, I’d like to just write you a big check. But your fish just look too sad.”

    Feeling The Pinch

    | Fort Fisher, NC, USA |

    (I volunteer at an aquarium and often work our touch tank.)

    Visitor: “Oh look! Stingrays!”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, those are horse shoe crabs.”

    Visitor: “How can you tell?”

    Me: *flipping the crab over* “It has claws and feet. Stingrays don’t have feet. Would you like to touch it?”

    Visitor: “No! It will sting me!”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I assure it is safe.”

    Visitor: “I don’t think so! You must just be immune!”

    Visitors 12 Year Old Son: “Mom! It’s in the touch tank!”

    Sea Lions Totally Rock

    | Newport, OR, USA |

    (I am giving a tour to a group of people about sea lions. I am pointing out the sea lions through the glass cage and introducing them to the group.)

    Woman: “What’s that sea lion over there doing? He seems very still.”

    Child: “Mom, that’s a rock.”

    With Customers Like These, Who Needs Anemones

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Pets & Animals

    Guest: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Me: “Hi there! Do you have a question?”

    Guest: “Yes. What is this?” *points to a specimen*

    Me: “That is called a sea anemone.”

    Guest: “Oh…” *walks away, only to walk back a few moments later* “What are they the enemies of?”

    In Desperate Need Of A Cellphone

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I bought tickets online, but my printer doesn’t work.”

    Me: “Okay. Well, if you want, you can print it out here.”

    Customer: “Well, I actually brought my laptop.”

    (He shows me his laptop with the tickets on the screen.)

    Customer: “Can I get in with this?”

    Me: “Yeah, here are your wristbands.”

    Customer: “Okay thanks. Do I have to show my laptop at the gate or can I put it away?”

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