Eeling Sad

| Charleston, SC, USA | Uncategorized

(The aquarium I work at is a non-profit organization, so we’re always accepting donations. A well dressed older lady comes up to me, and asks a question about one of the animals in the 2000 gallon tank.)

Customer: “You see the eel? Doesn’t he just look so sad in that small tank?”

Me: “That’s actually just the way they look and act in the wild.”

Customer: “All the fish are swimming in circles. They just look so bored and sad.”

Me: “I agree that it must get boring, but this is all these fish would do in the wild anyway. They would even live in a small area, like this one.”

Customer: “Well, I’d like to just write you a big check. But your fish just look too sad.”

Feeling The Pinch

| Fort Fisher, NC, USA | Uncategorized

(I volunteer at an aquarium and often work our touch tank.)

Visitor: “Oh look! Stingrays!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, those are horse shoe crabs.”

Visitor: “How can you tell?”

Me: *flipping the crab over* “It has claws and feet. Stingrays don’t have feet. Would you like to touch it?”

Visitor: “No! It will sting me!”

Me: “No, ma’am, I assure it is safe.”

Visitor: “I don’t think so! You must just be immune!”

Visitors 12 Year Old Son: “Mom! It’s in the touch tank!”

Sea Lions Totally Rock

| Newport, OR, USA | Uncategorized

(I am giving a tour to a group of people about sea lions. I am pointing out the sea lions through the glass cage and introducing them to the group.)

Woman: “What’s that sea lion over there doing? He seems very still.”

Child: “Mom, that’s a rock.”

With Customers Like These, Who Needs Anemones

| Seattle, WA, USA | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

Guest: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Me: “Hi there! Do you have a question?”

Guest: “Yes. What is this?” *points to a specimen*

Me: “That is called a sea anemone.”

Guest: “Oh…” *walks away, only to walk back a few moments later* “What are they the enemies of?”

In Desperate Need Of A Cellphone

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I bought tickets online, but my printer doesn’t work.”

Me: “Okay. Well, if you want, you can print it out here.”

Customer: “Well, I actually brought my laptop.”

(He shows me his laptop with the tickets on the screen.)

Customer: “Can I get in with this?”

Me: “Yeah, here are your wristbands.”

Customer: “Okay thanks. Do I have to show my laptop at the gate or can I put it away?”

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