A Fish In Troubled Waters

| CT, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money

(I am an unpaid volunteer at a local aquarium. On this particular day we have a chocolate company visiting and vendors are set up throughout the building selling their food. I am working at an information desk at this time.)

Guest: “Hey, do happen to have an ATM in here?”

Me: “I apologize sir, but the closest ATM is outside in the parking garage.”

Guest: *suddenly yelling* “You mean to tell me I have to go all the way outside, come in, and pay AGAIN?!”

Me: “I assure you, you won’t have to pay again if you have your ticket. If not, you can ask for me to come verify you’ve been in. However, you will have to go back outside. I apologize for the inconvenience.”

Guest: “YOU KNOW WHAT?! I DON’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR S***, YOU INSOLENT LITTLE F***!”

Me: “Sir, please stop swearing; there are young children around. Again, I apologize for any inconvenience this has brought upon you, but we do not have a general need for an ATM except for this one day.”

(The guest goes into a rant about how I am ignorant and it is my fault the aquarium is losing money. I am losing my patience with this man and start zoning out. When he pauses to breathe, I take my chance to interject.)

Me: “I am terribly sorry, sir, but we do not have a use for ATMs as the fish do not require us to pay them on a regular basis.”

(The manager, who witnessed the whole thing, started laughing as she had security escort the man out.)

Bird Brained, Part 10

| Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I’m standing looking at the penguin exhibit when I overhear this from the woman beside me.)

Woman: “Look how beautiful they are! They look almost like birds!”

Related:
Bird Brained, Part 9
Bird Brained, Part 8
Bird Brained, Part 7

The Birds And The Bees And The Fish

| OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(An adult calls our aquarium with a question.)

Caller: “Do red devils have babies?”

(Red devils are a type of cichlid.)

Me: *thinking this is a prank* “Yes, they do.”

Caller: “How does that happen?”

Me: “Well, when a boy fish and a girl fish love each other very much…”

Caller: “No, no, I get that, but I had a male and it was fine, but when I put a female in the tank with it, after a while there were all these tiny red fish in there.”

Me: “Yes?”

Caller: *sounding confused* “So are they…?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: *frustrated* “But how does that happen?!”

Me: “What exactly are you asking me?”

Caller: “I’m asking you if my fish can have babies!”

Me: “Yes. Yes, they can.”

A Vast Ocean Of Ignorance

| Newport, KY, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Pets & Animals

(I’m an aquarium employee. As I’m standing in the coral reef tunnel, a few high school age kids walk up near me, looking up at the fish.)

Me: “Good afternoon, guys! Enjoying the aquarium?”

Teen #1: “Yeah…” *to his friends, pointing at the tank* “Hey, check out the puffer fish!”

Teen #2: “Oh, cool!” *to me* “Does it ever puff up?”

Me: “It’s pretty used to people, and there are no predators in there, so it wouldn’t puff itself up unless maybe a diver were to startle or threaten it in the tank.”

Teen #1: “Can you startle it and make it puff up for us?”

Me: *wondering how or why I would even do that* “No…”

Teen #2: *suddenly forgetting the puffer and pointing instead at the cownose stingrays in the tank* “Hey! Isn’t that what killed Davy Crockett?”

Teen #1, Teen #3, & Me: “What?!”

Teen #2: “Isn’t that what killed Davy Crockett?”

Me: “Uh… no. I’m pretty certain he died at the Alamo in the 19th century…” *thinks for a bit* “Did you mean Steve Irwin?”

Teen #2: “Yeah! Same thing.”

Me: “Not really…”

Can’t Put Her Finger On The Problem

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Top

(I work at the touch tank at a local aquarium. We invite guests to dip their fingers in and stroke the aquatic life as they swim past, provided they don’t put in more than two fingers at a time so as not to overwhelm the animals.)

Me: “And over here we have lake sturgeon and blue gill, both native to our own Lake Michigan!”

Guest: “What are these?” *points to starfish tank*

Me: “Those are red knobbed starfish, ma’am. They’re native to the Indian Ocean.”

Guest: “And I can touch them?”

Me: “Absolutely! We only ask that you use two fingers at a time.”

(The guest nods and proceeds to stick her thumb and forefinger into the tank, pull the starfish out, shake the water off it, and place it in her purse.)

Me: “Ma’am! Taking the marine life out of the tank is very dangerous! Please! I’m going to have to ask that you put it back!”

Guest: “But I wanted to take it home.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that’s a living creature you have there. We can’t just let people reach in and take out our animals!”

Guest: “I only used two fingers!”

Page 1/3123