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    Lost & Found Gets Tossed Around

    | NY, USA | Bizarre

    (I am the office manager at a nice apartment building. It is a secure building that requires anyone entering to use a key code. We’re located in a safe town, and have never had a single incident of theft or other criminal activity. A resident approaches my desk.)

    Resident: “Have you seen my sweater? I think I left in down here a couple hours ago!”

    Me: “No one turned one in to me. Have you checked the Lost & Found box around the corner?”

    Resident: “Lost & Found box? You mean you leave lost items just out in the open like that?!”

    Me: “Yes, we put the ‘found’ items in a single location so people are not running all around looking for them.”

    Resident: “That is atrocious! Anyone could walk in off the street and steal from the box!”

    Me: “This building is locked, ma’am. The only people who have access to this area have a key code, like yourself.”

    Resident: “But someone like me could steal them! I could go to that box and steal everything in there if I wanted to!”

    (To illustrate her point, the resident runs around the corner, grabs the Lost & Found box, and drags it over to my desk.)

    Resident: *flings items out of the box* “I’m going to steal this, and this, and all of these! THEY’RE ALL GOING TO BE MINE!”

    Me: “Uh, ma’am? I’m going to have to ask you not to take items that don’t belong to you.”

    Resident: “YOU DON’T KNOW THEY’RE NOT MINE!”

    (Suddenly, she spots the sweater she was looking for to begin with, and totally calms down.)

    Resident: “Oh. My sweater! Oh my God! Thank you so much for helping me find it!”

    (She grabs her sweater and happily skips off, leaving the box and all its items sprawled out over the floor.)

    Me: *dumbfounded* “…you’re welcome?”

    Second Thoughts About Second Sight

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Bizarre

    Customer: “My garbage disposal is clogged up.”

    Me: “What is stuck in your garbage disposal?”

    Customer: “A crystal ball.”

    Me: “A what?”

    Customer: “My crystal ball rolled off the counter and fell in my garbage disposal.”

    Me: “You didn’t see that coming?”

    Emergency Disservice

    | Indiana, USA | Pets & Animals

    (I am a Community Assistant. When a resident has a problem with their apartment they have to call the CA Duty phone. However, today is labor day and it’s my day off.)

    Resident: “I have a emergency at my apartment!”

    Me: “How can I help you sir?”

    Resident: “There was a bee’s nest in my roof, but now the bees have come through a crack in the ceiling! My apartment is full of bees!”

    Me: “Sir, I would recommend that you call some sort of animal services, but I can’t help you.”

    Resident: “Well, why not? Doesn’t the apartment have some sort of procedure for this type of situation?”

    Me: “Well, it’s Labor Day and my day off. Plus, you’re supposed to call me for maintenance issues, not insects.”

    Resident: “You can’t take the day off! What if there was a medical emergency on a holiday!”

    Me: “Then I hope you would call 911.”

    Resident: “Don’t they have the day off, too?”