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  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Trying To Take You For A Ride

    | USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (Our carousel has a height requirement: 45 inches and smaller require an adult with them. We allow 15 year olds and up to accompany a small child. A girl is coming into line with her little sister, who is not tall enough to ride alone. I don’t believe the older sister is 15.)

    Me: “How old are you?”

    Older Sister: “I’m 11.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. You have to be at least 15 to bring a child on. Is Mom or Dad with you?”

    (The girls walk away, and come back with their mom.)

    Mom: “You won’t let the big one go with her? She’s fifteen.”

    Me: “Well, she just told me she was 11.”

    Mom: *shuts up*

    The Height Of Unreason

    | AZ, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m running a ride that has a four-foot height limit, due to the speeds at which it spins and the types of harnesses used for the seats. A guest is waiting at the front of the line with his daughter, who is clearly too small to ride. I am resetting all of the safety locks for the next ride, and I hear my coworker talking to the guest.)

    Coworker: “All right, sir, I’m going to have to double-check her height. I’m pretty certain she’s too small to ride.”

    Customer: “Oh, she’ll be fine. I’ll be sitting with her.”

    Coworker: “No, sir, you can’t do that. I have to check her height.”

    (With a bit of a cross look on his face, he tells his daughter to stand next to the measuring pole. She’s a good six inches too short.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir; I can’t let her ride. She’s simply too small.”

    Customer: “Dude, seriously? I’m right here. I’ll be holding her the whole time.”

    Coworker: “I can’t let her ride.”

    (At this point, he’s holding up the line, and the customers behind him are getting impatient.)

    Customer: “Dude, it’s her birthday and we just waited for an hour to get on this ride. Just let her go this time.”

    Coworker: “My hands are tied. She can’t ride.”

    Customer: “I’m not moving. She’s going to ride.”

    (He pretty much has the attention of everyone in line by now. I come over.)

    Me: “Listen, sir, I need to get this line moving. Just let me get this straight: you’re telling me that you’re going to willingly endanger your daughter’s life for the low, low price of a ride pass? Fine, by all means.”

    (The man goes red in the face before wordlessly picking up his daughter and walking out of the line.)

    Past The Night’s Watch

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (To prevent anyone from sneaking into the park, the area is surrounded by an 8-10 foot high wall. I’m working at the season-pass entrance, when a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Uh… a few teenagers just jumped the wall.”

    (I stare blankly at her, as in my entire time I’ve worked at the park I’ve never heard of anyone getting over that wall.)

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “The wall. I saw three people climb over the wall: two guys and a girl in their early twenties.”

    Me: “Uh, thank you for telling me. I’ll scan your pass and inform security once you’re through.”

    Customer: “Hey, what’s behind that wall anyways?”

    (I think for a moment, before I remember that the Employee Area has a small gate that leads into a small grassy area behind the wall. If anyone jumped the wall, they would have no possible way to go but through that gate, essentially right into a congregation of 10-20 employees on their break and security’s lap.)

    Me: “Oh my god! It’s the employee patio!”

    (Sure enough, two security guards escort two guys and a girl in their twenties out of my entrance. The guys look giddy, like the whole thing is a joke, while the girl is holding her hand to her forehead, attempting to hide her face. One of the guys grins at me.)

    Guy One: “I’m sorry we tried.”

    Guy Two: “I’m not!”

    Girl: “Shut up both of you!”

    It Doesn’t Go Up The Way You Think It Does

    | California, USA | Uncategorized

    (I work at an amusement park in Southern California. A customer comes up to me while I am cleaning a shop.)

    Customer: “Where can I find a [cartoon character] blow-up doll?”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

    Customer: “Blow-up doll. I need a [cartoon character] blow-up doll!”

    Me: “I um, we don’t sell those kinds of items–”

    Customer: “You know, you put air in and it goes up!”

    Me: “A balloon?”

    Customer: “A blow-up doll, yes! Where?!”

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