October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

| Langhorne, PA, USA | Unfiltered

I work in a relatively small amusement park just outside of Philadelphia. People come from all over to see the characters that the park is known for. While the prices are quite high, park employees have no responsibility for them and can’t change them at all.

Me: Hi! Welcome to [Park Name]! How can I help you?

Guest: You can tell me why the prices here are so f***ing high!

Me: Well, I have no control over the prices-

Guest: What do you mean, you have no control? Don’t you work here?

Me: Well, yes, I do work here, but I only sell the tickets, I don’t control the corporation that decides the price.

Guest: That is ridiculous! I demand you give me the lowest possible price!

Me: Do you have a coupon or a season pass? Or do you know someone with a season pass? Or are you the family member of an active military soldier?

Guest: ….No, but what does that have to do with anything?

Me: Those are the only ways to get a discount.

Guest: …I want the season pass then. At least then I only have to pay once.

She then proceeds to purchase four of the most expensive of the three types of season passes that the park offers. So instead of storming off in a huff like I expected, she spent more money after ranting about the high prices.

Guest: Thank you!

Me: [I wave absently] [to my coworker, I say]: did that just happen?

Coworker: I’m just as surprised as you are.

Child’s Play And Slay

| PA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(At an interactive show meant primarily for little kids, the show follows the good guys tracking a bad guy. Near the end, they catch the bad guy and ask the audience what they should do next. This gets the kids excited to chime in. All of the kids here are under 10 years old.)

Announcer: “Okay, kids! What should we do with the bad guy now?”

Girl: “Tell his mommy!”

Announcer: “Okay, let’s tell his mommy on him! What else?”

Boy #1: “Kill him!”

Announcer: “What?!”

Boy #2: “EAT HIM!”

Announcer: “Okay, we are DEFINITELY not eating him. That’s illegal.”

Boy #3: “SET HIM ON FIRE!”

Announcer: “What do your parents let you watch?!”

No ID, No Idea, Part 17

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m working at one of the places in the park that sells alcohol and it is required that I card every single person no matter how old they are. A customer who is clearly older has come up wishing to purchase a beer but doesn’t have her ID and my supervisor is standing next to me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but without your ID I can’t sell to you.”

Supervisor: “Unfortunately, she’s right. It doesn’t matter how old someone is. I saw a guy that had to have been at least seventy trying to purchase beer and I still had to card him.”

Customer: “I guess I’ll just come back with my ID.”

(The customer returns a few minutes later.)

Customer: “Your supervisor’s gone. Can you just pretend like you’re looking at something?”

(The customer then proceeds to hand me a football card.)

Me: “Ma’am, your ID has to be state issued…”

No ID, No Idea, Part 16
No ID, No Idea, Part 15
No ID, No Idea, Part 14

A Dragon Cannot Be Killed By Fire Or Bad Parenting

| Sandusky, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I work at a popular amusement park. A family with children comes in with their children. There are two boys and two girls in a toy gift store.)

Mother: “Okay, you guys can pick one toy each!”

(The one daughter picks a very pink and fluffy stuffed animal, while the boys pick a toy bow and arrow. The youngest girl picks a stuffed dragon.)

Me: “Oh, cool, a dragon!”

Little Girl: *holds up dragon* “Raawwwr!”

Me: “Oh, scary!”

Mother: *pulls dragon out of her hands* “Oh no, sweetheart! Dragons are not for sweet little girls!”

(The mother then shows the little girl a more girly toy and everything pink. Next the little girl picks up a green dog.)

Mother: “No! Little girls like pink! If you don’t get anything pink or girly you can’t get anything at all.”

(The little girl starts crying and then the mother pays for the toys of her other siblings.)

Mother: *to me* “One of these days she will learn her place. Only gay girls like those kind of toys she picked out. I am trying to get her more girly and into pink so she can be straight.”

Me: *stunned silence*

Listening Is The Ticket

| NH, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a family amusement park in New Hampshire, where gambling is illegal. We have a fake casino amongst our arcades, but it gives out tickets, not money.)

Guest: “How do I buy these prizes?”

Me: “You have to win tickets from the machine and use them to purchase the prizes.”

Guest: “I can’t just buy them?”

Me: “No, sorry. Game prizes are not for sale.”

(A little later…)

Guest: “I played all these games and I got tickets instead of money! You said I’d get money! Where is my money, you b****?”

Me: “I’m sorry if there was a miscommunication, sir. I said you’d get tickets and that you could use them to get prizes.”

Guest: “Is this a f****** joke?!”

(He threw the tickets in my face, spit on the floor, and stormed out, dragging his very young son after him, who had seen and experienced this whole tantrum.)

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