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    Signs It’s Time To Leave The Nest

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA |

    (A woman walked up to my co-worker in a panic.)

    Woman: “Have you seen my son? Did someone take my son?!”

    Co-worker: “I’m not sure. How old is he?”

    Woman: *still panicked* “20!”

    Welcome To Glorious Nation Of North Americastan

    | British Columbia, Canada |

    Customer:“Do you sell any other calling cards here?”

    Salesperson: “No, just the ones on that rack. Sorry.”

    Customer: “I need to call the States and I don’t want to get charged for long distance! I need a card that can call from Canada to the US!”

    Salesperson: “Those calling cards can call to the US.”

    Customer: “But it says they only work in North America!”

    Water You, Stupid

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Top

    (While passing through airport security, a passenger’s bag needs to be pulled because the x-ray operator sees an obvious big bottle of water when the limit is 3.4 oz.)

    Me: “Whose bag is this?”

    Passenger: “Oh! Oh! Oohhh! It’s mine! Is there something wrong?”

    Me: “I just need to take a quick look inside, ma’am. This shouldn’t take more than a couple of minutes.”

    Passenger: “Well, hurry. I think they’re boarding my plane.”

    (I open her bag and find the bottle almost immediately. She gasps as I pull it out.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid you cannot have this beyond this point.”

    Passenger: “Why not? I just bought it, and it’s unopened!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the rules clearly state that you cannot have any liquids over 3.4 oz in your carry on. If you’d like to, you could–”

    Passenger: “But that’s not a liquid!”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Passenger: “It’s not a liquid! It’s water! W-A-T-E-R! You know, H-2-O? For the love of God, don’t they hire anyone with more than a grade school education for security?”

    Ahh, Youth

    | Hartford, CT, USA | Top

    (A teen girl walks through security and collects her belongings.)

    Teen: “Excuse me sir, what did you do with my purse?”

    Worker: “I’m sure it came through ma’am, just look around for it.”

    Teen, in a condescending tone: “Sir, I would appreciate it if you would find my purse that went through YOUR machine that YOU lost. Thats your job you know, now reach up in the machine and feel around for it.”

    Worker #2: “Umm, your purse is on your arm.”

    Teen: “Oh…” *walks away*

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