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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    We Need Signs In Stupid

    | Calgary, Canada | Extra Stupid

    (I am working at the security entrance of the airport. Baggage carts are not allowed into the gate area. I see a gentleman approaching with a cart and it doesn’t look like he is about to store it in the rack. Sure enough, he comes up to the entrance with his cart.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the cart is not allowed in the secure area. Please put it in the rack provided.”

    Passenger: “Well, there’s no sign.”

    (I point to one of the two signs framing our door clearly depicting a cart with a red circle and line running through it, indicating the cart was banned.)

    Passenger: “Well, it’s not in English!”

    Me: “Sir, it’s a pictograph. It’s supposed to be easily recognized and understood no matter what language you speak.”

    Passenger: “IT’S STILL NOT IN ENGLISH!”

    No Country For Confused Men

    | Edinburgh, UK | Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “Hi! My friends are coming in from America. Is there any chance I can meet them at their baggage claim?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Unfortunately, you aren’t allowed to go through the gates at international arrivals. You’ll just have to meet them there.”

    Customer: “Oh, that sucks. Never mind.”

    (The customer begins to leave and suddenly turns back.)

    Customer: “Oh, wait! I’ve got another question.”

    Me: “Sure.”

    Customer: “What country am I in?”

    There Is Norway I Can Understand You

    | Trondheim, Norway | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (A young boy, about 12, is walking around confused.)

    Me: *in Norwegian* “Where are your parents?”

    Child: *clearly British* “Why the heck do people here assume I speak bloody Norwegian?”

    Me: *in English* “You’re in Norway.”

    Child: “Oh, yeah.”

    You’ll Have To Connect At Baked Alaska

    | London, UK | Funny Names, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Hi, would you like to buy a ticket?”

    Customer: “Yes, when is your next flight to Oregano?”

    Me: “Oregano?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it’s in America. I think it’s a state?”

    (On my computer, I find the Wikipedia page for Oregano.)

    Customer: “Oh…I’m not dumb, I swear…”

    Swords On A Plane

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Tourists/Travel

    (A man going through security is stopped when the x-ray reveals that he has a full-length sword in his carry on luggage.)

    Me: “Sir, what are you doing with this sword?”

    Customer: “It’s a souvenir. It’s not even sharp.”

    Me: “This can in no way go on board a plane.”

    Customer: “But it’s not even sharp!”

    Me: “You’re going to need to come with me. Anything like this, whether it’s a souvenir or not, should have been placed in your checked luggage.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe this! It’s not a real sword! And it’s not even sharp?! Do I look stupid to you?”

    Me: “You look like a person trying to bring a sword onto a plane.”


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