October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

, | UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(Four months before this, I broke my leg very badly while at university. I am currently working in a shop at home over the holidays. I’m at the checkouts and see a lady with her arm in a sling trying to cut in front of a very long queue.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. The queue starts over there.”

Customer: “I was standing in [other queue] for ages before someone told me it was a self service!”

Me: “Sorry, but all these people have been queuing.”

Customer: “It’s a bloody outrage. Your signs aren’t at all clear!”

Next Customer In Line: “Oh, just let her go.”

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: “I’ve got a sprained wrist. You people have no idea how much pain I’m in! I shouldn’t be treated like this! I’ve a good mind to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Actually, I do know. Four months ago, I broke my leg in six places and had to have several operations to fix it. I’ve been walking on it for less than a month. In order to fund myself through medical school, so I can be a doctor and help people, I’m spending nine hours a day standing on my feet serving customers who can’t do anything but complain.”

(The customer looked ashamed, mumbled a ‘sorry,’ and was polite from then on, avoiding the angry glares the other customers in line were giving her.)

Putting The Scent Into Ascents

, | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(The x-ray operator sends me to search for an oversized liquid in a passenger’s carry on. She does the search required and finds an unopened bottle of 185 ml perfume.)

Coworker: “Unfortunately, ma’am, this liquid is over the size limit and cannot go past this point.”

Passenger: “That is not a liquid.”

Coworker: “What is it, then?”

Passenger: “It’s a scent.”

He’s Fully Armed

, | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, One-Liners, Technology, Tourists/Travel

(I am watching the walk-through metal detector when two teenagers line up to walk through. The first walks through. It doesn’t alarm and he gets excited. Then the second boy walks through…)

Me: “Okay, walk through.”

(The teenager walks through timidly then stops and stares at me.)

Me: “You’re good to go.”

(He then looks at his arms in astonishment.)

Teenager: “Wow, I’m surprised these guns didn’t set it off!”

Giving Her A Little Flight

| USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(It is 8 am on Thanksgiving morning, and I am at the airport to fly to my mom’s home in Michigan. This is my second flight with this airline. The last time, I had money on a card to pay for my luggage, but they said they only took cash. I go up to the ticket counter.)

Me: “Hello! I have a 9 am flight to Detroit.”

Worker: “Alright, your luggage fee comes up to $50. How would you like to pay for that?”

(I put my cash on the counter and smile.)

Worker: “I’m sorry, but we only take credit or debit cards. Do you want to bill this to the card you purchased your flight with?”

Me: “But the last time, they said I needed to pay in cash. I put money on the card specifically for the ticket. All I can do is pay in cash!”

Worker: “It’s fine. Just go. Happy Thanksgiving!”

(I tried to give her the cash multiple times, but she couldn’t accept it. To that worker, I am so very sorry for the mix up, but because of your kindness, I made it home in time to spend Thanksgiving with my family, and I will be eternally grateful for your kindness!)

The Real Government Would Take Your Money

| AL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a federal airport operations center, answering the phones.)

Me: “This is the TSA Coordination Center for [Airport]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “This is the federal government calling to tell you that you’ve won a $5000 dollar grant.”

Me: “The federal government?”

Caller: “Yes, you’ve won a $5000 dollar grant!”

Me: “This is the TSA coordination center; a government operated center. Who is this? What’s a good call-back number?”

Caller: *hangs up*

(The phone line for the next number in sequence starts ringing. Guess who it was?)

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