This story reminds me of the only person I had to fire for breaching airport security rules. At my old airport, when you first started, you didn’t have an access card; each shift, you had to go to the police station with the coworker you’d be shadowing to pick up a temporary card, which you had to return when finished.

After a probation period, usually two months, you would get your own access card, which you had to carry at all times on a lanyard around your neck. Of course, if for some reason you forgot it at home, we would request an emergency one. Considering the massive bureaucratic pain in the a** for all involved, this rarely happened — usually once per person at most.

Then came [Employee]. She forgot her card at home six times in the first two weeks of the first month of getting her card. She was warned to always bring her card, or if she wanted to, to leave it at the station after each shift so as to not forget it at home.

[Employee] refused that option and continued to forget the card, which was bad enough as the company began to pay fines over it. Then, she claimed to have lost the card, which was a pain to replace.

But the reason why we fired her was the final straw: she had sold her original access card online and was bragging about it on [Social Media site].

How did we find out, you ask?

One of the airport cops was bored during a night shift and was browsing social media when he found the post of her bragging. He called the other cops, and they took a screenshot and went to our offices to call me, as I was also doing night shifts.

There were nighttime calls from me to headquarters and airport operations and then calls from the cops to the judge and prosecutor on call for an arrest warrant.

[Employee] was arrested that night and was fired by sunrise.

Luckily, the package with the card was still at the local mail sorting center, so it was easy to recover. 

Thank God for bored cops. Can you imagine the security nightmare if this had gone unnoticed, and whoever bought the card had breached the secure perimeter?

Now, if you forget the card more than once, you have to always leave it at the station before leaving the airport, and if you claim to lose it, an investigation is started immediately.

Related:
We’ll Bet They Just Drop In On Relatives, Too

When my parents were still married, they’d attend Mary Kay’s annual seminar, joining thousands of people who descended on Dallas every July to recognize outstanding salespeople and for further enrichment in leadership and success. The flights down were relatively peaceful, but one of their first times coming back, they ran into a problem. Since this happened in the late eighties, my parents can no longer remember the exact cause, but according to the airline…

Representative: “It’s all you Mary Kay people! Maybe if you weren’t so busy playing with each other’s makeup and admiring each other’s pink cars, the flight out of Dallas wouldn’t have been so late!”

Mom: “What happened with the flight was beyond our control; the seminar had nothing to do with it. Now, could you please tell me if there’s a flight back to Lansing yet tonight, or do we have to make other plans?”

The representative barely pretended to check her computer.

Representative: “You’re out of luck. The next flight to Lansing leaves at nine o’clock tomorrow morning. And I’m out of hotel vouchers and out of patience because it’s time for my break.”

And she walked away without waiting for my parents’ decision.

Sadly, that woman was so focused on being spiteful to whoever she’d pegged as being associated with Mary Kay that she didn’t notice who else she was hurting — namely the two elderly ladies standing behind my parents. After listening to my parents debate whether it was better to rent a car or to try to find a motel room and hope that there would be no more problems, they plucked up the courage to say:

Lady #1: “Excuse us. We wouldn’t usually ask a favor of complete strangers, but…”

Lady #2: “Our brother is dying at [Hospital], and we’re worried that if we wait for [Airline] to fly us back tomorrow morning, it might be too late.”

Lady #1: “Could we possibly ride back to Lansing with you? It would mean a lot, and we’d be willing to give you gas money.”

Lady #2: “You wouldn’t even have to take us to [Hospital]. We have a room at [Motel on the west side].”

My parents didn’t even have to discuss it. Helping sisters in need was far more appealing than giving the airline representative the satisfaction of watching them trying to get comfortable on the floor overnight.

It was late when the four of them got back into town, but my parents were rewarded with a call the next afternoon confirming that the ladies had arrived in time to say goodbye.

And [Airline]’s response to all this? They answered my mother’s scathing letter with a $100 ticket voucher.

Bold of them to assume my parents would ever want to fly with them again, don’t you think?

Some customers are checking in their baggage in Madrid, heading home after their vacation. Their accent indicates they’re American.

Customer: “We made some friends here from England, and their flight home is only a couple of hours, but ours is over ten!”

Me: “That’s right, madam.”

Customer: “Well, that hardly seems fair!”

Me: “Well, they have a much shorter distance to fly than you do, so the journey time is much shorter.”

The woman huffs and puts her hands on her hips.

Customer: “And whose fault is that?“

Me: *Thinking* “Plate tectonics?”

Me: *Saying* “What would you like me to do, ma’am?”

Customer: “We should arrive at the same time, or as Americans, we should arrive first!”

Me: “Are you asking me to delay the flight to England by eight hours so you can get home first?”

Customer: “Yes! We should be getting home first!”

I honestly didn’t know what to say to that!

I work as a floating bar manager at an airport. One of the restaurants I work in serves Japanese food and has a lunch rush every day from 1:00 to 4:00 pm.

During the rush, I turn around and see a young woman put her baby in a pumpkin seat directly on the bar.

Me: *Politely* “Ma’am, in Oregon, it is illegal to have children at the bar.”

I point to the prominent sign explaining this. 

Customer: *Immediately furious* “Then where do you expect me to eat my udon?! This place is too crowded!”

I point out a number of open seats, which she refuses.

Customer: “No! Because then I would need to sit next to strangers!”

I’m not sure what she thinks her flight is going to be like.

Me: “I’m very sorry, but it’s both illegal and unsafe to have your baby on the bar.”

And with that, she throws her hot soup at me. I am drenched in it. If my uniform weren’t a heavy polyester, I could have been burned. My coworker hits the button for security.

Me: “Assaulting an airport employee is a federal offense.”

Customer: “I did not assault you! You’re fine! I’ll be suing you, the restaurant, and the airport if I miss my flight because of your bulls*** rules!”

I smile and point to the numerous security cameras. This just sets her off even more. She keeps cursing at me until security arrives. She completely freaks out, calling me all sorts of names.

Customer: “I hope you’ll enjoy my lawyer ruining your life!”

Me: “I hope you’ll enjoy the cavity search.” 

I never heard from her lawyer.

One time, I was flying out of Melbourne’s international airport, and at the security check, they had both the metal detector scanner (doorway) and full-body scanners. As someone with two hip replacements — that is, big chunks of metal inside my body — I know that the full-body scanners are the preferred option. When I got to the airport person pointing out which security point to go to, I said I needed the full body scanner as I’ve got hip replacements. I was maliciously (or so it seems) sent to the metal detector instead, despite my protests.

As you can imagine, the detector went off, and I was sent back to take off “more” three times! (I had already removed anything metallic except my wedding ring.) Eventually, they listened and got someone with the wand to come and check me over and pat me down.

After I finally got through, the supervisor confronted me.

Supervisor: “You should’ve gone through the full-body scanner!”

Me: “I tried to insist on that, but your person sent me over to the other scanner.”

I pointed to the staff member.

Supervisor: “Oh, we have no control over them or what training they undergo.”

It wasn’t a huge problem, as “be there three hours before” means there’s always too much time anyway, so it was a frustrating waste of time for security and the people behind me, but it helped pass the time.

I learned my lesson and after that made up an A4 sign to hold up saying I had the hip replacements and to get the wand before going through the first time. Some even paid attention. (NAR readers will be familiar with how well people read signs!)