October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Lounging In The Line

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Tourists/Travel

(I’m the customer in this story. The weather has been bad this day, resulting in a lot of cancelled and delayed flights, on top of being a holiday that is busy for flying anyway, so the check-in lines are overwhelmed with both people trying to check in and those trying to get re-booked. I notice that no one is moving in the check-in line while the desk agent is dealing with a customer. I walk up to the desk from about 20 spots back.)

Me: “Excuse me. I don’t mean to interrupt, but it seems that you’re helping this customer personally while no one is using the check-in screens. Can those of us in line to check in use the check-in screens while you handle this?”

Agent: “Sure! I’m trying to re-book her, so please step up and check in if that’s what you’re in line for.”

(I turn around to the line and speak loudly.)

Me: “If you’re just here to check in, please step up and use the check-in screens.”

(I go back to my original position in line, and it turns out most the people in line were there to be re-booked, so I reach the counter quickly as those waiting for assistance wave those of us just checking in forward. When I reach the screen and put my bag up to be tagged…)

Agent: “Ah, you again. Wait right here for a second.”

(I wait, thinking I upset them with my intrusion and am going to be kicked off my flight.)

Agent: *comes back, takes my ID, tags my bag, and then hands my ID and claim slip back to me along with another slip of paper* “Thank you for that. I’d love to hire you to stand here all evening and keep things moving, but this is the best I can do.”

(She comped me a lounge pass! Turned out that it was a LIFESAVER since MY flight ended up delayed by five hours!)

Reply Back Like An Act Of God

| Paris, France | Bad Behavior, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

(I am working the customer service desk. Due to inclement weather, we have to cancel a flight to a smaller airport, as the plane used to make said flight would not be capable of landing there in a storm. I am dealing with a customer who has just been informed that the plane to which he was transferred due to a mechanical fault in a previous flight, is cancelled.)

Me: “So, I’m terribly sorry, sir. The best we can do now is rebook you for our earliest flight to [City] tomorrow morning, or start processing a refund to your credit card for this leg of your trip.”

Customer: *sighs* “Well, I need to be in [City] tonight, so I guess I’ll just take the refund.”

Me: “All right, sir. We will start processing your refund immediately, and again, we are terribly sorry for the inconvenience. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yes, would you happen to know how much it costs to take the metro from here to [Main City station]? I guess I’ll be catching a late train.”

Me: “Certainly sir, it’s—”

(Suddenly the lady behind this customer speaks up.)

Woman: “Is that it? You’re not going to get mad? You’re not going to threaten to sue them?”

Customer: “…why would I do that?”

Woman: “They’ve ruined your trip! They took your money and ruined everything anyway!”

Customer: “I highly doubt anyone in Paris is responsible for the storm at [City], and the people working customer service are certainly not responsible for a mechanical fault in the plane.”

Woman: “But they’ve cost you hundreds of euros!”

Customer: “If they refund this leg, then it works out almost even. It’s really not a problem.”

Woman: “What are you talking about, it’s not a problem?! Of course it’s a problem! They should be made to pay! It’s that stupid French laziness where they just don’t want to work and—”

Customer: “Lady, shut the f*** up.”

(The woman chokes on her words as the customer who has been nothing but calm and polite this whole time fixes a glare on her.)

Customer: “I had to get up before six this morning to take a one-hour bus to the airport for a flight that got delayed. I was stuck in THIS airport for hours before finding out that my other flight was cancelled, and now I have to hop the metro to catch a two-hour train to be in [City] hours after I was supposed to arrive. I am tired. I want a shower. I am not in the mood to fight [Airline] over an act of God, and I am definitely not in the mood to listen to you rant and rave like a g****** lunatic about something that is none of your business. Now, kindly f*** off!”

(He turns back to me as the woman stammers incoherently.)

Customer: “Merci pour votre aide. Bonne soiree.” *Thanks for your help. Good evening*

(He gathered up his travel documents and calmly walked off.)

Lucky In Card(ed)s

, | Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

Waitress: “What would you like to drink?”

Me: “I’ll have a rum and Coke.”

Friend: “I’ll have Guinness.”

Waitress: “May I see some ID?”

(My friend and I look at each other in shock. I am just shy of turning 50 and my friend is in his mid-50s, and we both have classic male pattern baldness. There isn’t a chance on earth either of us could be confused with being minors.)

Me: “Are you serious?”

Waitress: *looking a bit embarrassed* “It’s policy.”

(Generally, policy is to card people who look 30 or under. We don’t even look close to that. My friend is from England where carding is basically non-existent.)

Friend: “Young lady, I have never once been carded in my entire life. Congratulations, you are the very first.”

Doesn’t Have The Laws Of Physics In The Bag

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am getting in line at security in the airport. In front of me is a middle-aged lady reading the sign stating that the TSA does not allow any bottles of liquid larger than three ounces through security. Underneath the sign is a box of quart-sized plastic bags. She has a plastic bag in one hand and a large drink bottle in the other hand. I watch her look between the plastic bag and the large bottle. She puts the large bottle in the quart sized plastic bag so that over half of it is sticking out and puts the whole thing into her backpack. My travel instincts kick in and quickly walk to get ahead of her in the security line. Sure enough, as I am packing my stuff up outside of security I hear her screaming.)

Lady: “But it’s in the bag! It should be fine! I put it in the bag.”

TSA Agent: “Ma’am, it doesn’t work that way!”


(Apparently in her mind a quart sized plastic bag makes a 16 ounce drink magically become less than three ounces!)

That Reasoning Doesn’t Fly

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I work in a duty free shop and a customer wanting to buy a bottle of cognac comes to my register. All is well until I ask for his boarding pass.)

Me: “All right, sir, may I see your boarding pass?”

Customer #1: “No.”

Me: “Then you can’t buy this cognac.”

Customer #1: “Why not?”

Me: “Alcohol is a customs bonded item, and as such can only be bought by people leaving the country directly from this point. I need to see your boarding pass so I can make sure you are doing so.”

Customer #1: “But I am French.”

Me: “That does not mean you are leaving the country.”

Customer #1: “But this is an international airport.”

Me: “Domestic flights go out of this airport regularly.”

Customer #1: “Well, I won’t show you my boarding pass.”

Me: “Than you can’t buy the cognac.”

Customer #1: “But I want to.”

Me: “Then I need to see your boarding pass.”

Customer #1: “NO!”

(This goes on for five minutes and the customer leaves in a huff without his cognac. The lady behind him comes up toting a five pound bag of pretzel M&Ms, which, like all candy, is not bonded.)

Customer #2: “Um, I’m on a domestic flight to Phoenix. Can I buy these M&Ms?”

Me: “Sure. Candy isn’t bonded.”

Customer #2: “Okay.” *looks at the cognac* “After that last guy you might need some of that yourself.”

Page 2/812345...Last