October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

If You Fail To Plan…

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Sir, in order for you to travel to Indonesia without a visa, you need to show proof to Immigration that you will leave the country within 90 days. Otherwise I would not be able to give you a boarding pass today.”

Passenger: “I might go to Vietnam or Singapore, but I’m not sure yet.”

Me: “Sir, is it possible that you buy a ticket now? To anywhere out of Indonesia.”

Passenger: “How am I supposed to buy a ticket when I don’t know where I’m going to?”

Me: “Sir, buying a ticket doesn’t mean you’re using it.”

Passenger: “But what date? I don’t even know when I will leave.”

Me: “Sir, you can buy a ticket with an open date or change the date later.”

Passenger: “Like I said, I don’t know when and where I’m going to leave Bali. I’m a person that doesn’t make plans!”

Delayed Reaction

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Technology, Tourists/Travel

Passenger: “Why is there nobody to inform me about the delay?! I came all the way from San Francisco and now that I’m here you tell me there is a delay!”

Me: “Sir, some people sign up for email alert from the airport or the airlines for possible delays.”

Passenger: “Who are those ‘some people’?! I talked to everyone here! Nobody knew about the delay before!”

Me: “Sir, those people who have signed up and received an alert wouldn’t even bother to come to the airport. People are here because they did not sign up and did not know there is a delay.”

A Runway Runaway

| Louisburg, NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Tourists/Travel

(I work at a small airport in Louisburg. We don’t have many commercial planes fly in but when we do they are normal small bush planes with only a few people on board. We have had a runway problem and can’t let any planes take off today, as the runway is having work done.)

Pilot: “Excuse me, but why has my flight been canceled?”

Me: “We are having a problem with our runway and can’t take any flights today.”

Pilot: “Well, that’s bull-s***. I was just out there and it was fine.”

Me: “I’m sorry but as you can see…” *points out to runway with workers* “There are people working on it today.”


Me: “Sir, I’m very sorry but I cannot let you through. Can you please calm down; I will be able to get you in the air first thing tomorrow.”

Pilot: “No, I’ve had enough of you. Out of my WAY!”

(He then pushed me out of the way and onto the floor and started to walk over to the hanger. I scrambled to my feet and called the workers and my supervisor to tell them what was coming, and called the police. The other worker and I sprinted over to the hanger and managed to get the hanger door closed before he could start the plane. After a while the police came and took him away, as he was going to try and take off with people working on the runway!)

Their Travel Ability Is As Solid As Oak-land

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(I am waiting to board my flight when over the intercom come a couple of announcements, calling a passenger who has gotten off their plane at the wrong airport. The last page comes as:)

Page: “[Name], please report back to gate [#]. You have gotten off at Oakland, not Orange County. It doesn’t look anything like Orange County.”

Shuttling Away The Bad Customers

| WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Transportation

(When my brother comes to visit, the airline company loses his bag temporarily, and promises to call us when it comes in. A day later it arrives, so my brother and I drive down to the airport to pick it up. I wait in my idling van while my brother runs in to grab his bag. After a few minutes, I hear someone open the trunk and glance in the rearview mirror, only to see a woman I don’t recognize loading her bags into my trunk. I turn off the car and get out.)

Me: “Um, ma’am, I think you have the wrong…”

Woman: “I need to get to the [Hotel] and fast. I have a business lunch to attend, and need to sign in and freshen up.”

Me: “Well, I’m not a driver, and I’m just waiting for my brother. Maybe you should—”

Woman: “WELL, he is just going to just have to wait, isn’t he? I am a paying customer, and I expect you to do your job and take me where I need to go.”

(At this point I realize that she thinks I am a shuttle driver, which is ridiculous as all of the hotel shuttles have the hotel logo plastered on the side of their shuttles. As it is obvious that she isn’t going to listen, I decide to take a different approach.)

Me: “Well, okay, but given that you didn’t schedule ahead, I have my rush-service fee, plus a roaming service fee as the [Hotel] is outside of my usual area, plus gas and lost business fees, so that will be $300 dollars up front.”

Woman: “What? No, you have to take me for free!”

Me: “No, that is the hotel shuttle, which would have to word [Hotel] on the side. I am a for-profit shuttle only, and if you want me to take you now, it will cost $300.”

Woman: “Well, I’m going to report you!”

(She then proceeds to pull her bag out of my trunk and storm off. My brother, who arrived towards the end of the debate, grins before stepping forward and putting his own bag in the trunk.)

Brother: “I don’t have $300, but do you accept IOUs?”

Me: “I’ll give you the family discount. You have to cook tonight.”

Brother: “Deal!”

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