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    Come Fly The Stupid Skies

    | New York, NY, USA |

    (I was flying in first class when two women sitting across the aisle from me buzzed the flight attendant.)

    Flight Attendant: “What can I help you with?”

    Passenger #1: “The plane seems to be shaking a lot, and I almost spilled my bottle of water.”

    Passenger #2: “Yeah, and it’s also really noisy. We can barely hear each other talk.”

    Flight Attendant: “Well, the shaking is the turbulence that the plane is flying through, and the noise is coming from the engines.”

    Passenger #2: “Can’t you turn off the engines?”

    Customer Of The Week: The Smoker

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Old Comics

    Customer Of The Week:  The Smoker
    Created by our friends at Quitting Time

    Original Story

    Not-So-Friendly Skies

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me, when does the non-smoking sign go off?”

    Me: “It doesn’t. You’re not allowed to smoke on this flight.”

    Customer: “But it’s lit up! The seatbelt light turns off, and I think I need a smoke.”

    Me: “You’re not allowed to smoke on an airplane.”

    Customer: “I can’t just go outside and smoke, can I? *points to an emergency exit*

    Me: “Er…good luck with that….”

    Airheaded

    | Orange County, CA, USA |

    (A man and his girlfriend are standing towards the front of the line to board an airplane. I’m a passenger who overhears their conversation.)

    Airline employee: “We are now boarding numbers 1 through 30.”

    (The man begins to walk away, but his girlfriend stays put.)

    Girlfriend: “Where are you going?”

    Man: “They called numbers 1 through 30.”

    Girlfriend: “But my number is 6!”

    Just Throw It In The Cockpit

    | New York, NY, USA |

    Elderly passenger: “Can you take my bag from the overhead bin and put it in the row?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, you’re in the exit row. It must remain clear.”

    Elderly passenger: “Well, how about up front by the door?”

    Me: “No, that must remain clear as well.”

    Elderly passenger: “Just put it in the aisle, then.”

    Me: “…”


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