(A student needed a stack of VHS tapes converted to DVD.  The first couple tapes were nothing special but the third  looked like the camera had been set up in a hotel room. The three of us working in the lab were wondering if it was even her tape until we saw the student sit down on the bed.  Then she laid back. Then someone else stepped into the frame and started taking off her shirt.  I ran to the phone to call the student while a crowd gathered in front of the computer.)

Me: “Hi, this is *** from the lab.  We’re working on your tapes right now but we’re not quite sure about one of them.”

Her: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, one of them seems like it might have slipped into the stack accidentally.”

Her: “One of mine? Wha–OH MY GOD!  The sex tape?!”

Me: “That’s what it looks like.”

Her: “Oh my god! Just box it up and hide it.  I’ll be right down to pick it up!”

Me: “I’ll pull it right away.”

Her: “Please, don’t let anyone else watch it!”

*people cheer excitedly in the back of the lab*

Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am. I’ve already shut it off.”