Sweet Midlife Crisis

(I work at a popular fast food place where cashiers ask for customers’ names so that they can be called when their order is ready. Customers who are members of our loyalty program are called whatever name they registered their card under. A middle-aged man approaches.)

Me: *holding back laughter* “Is this the name you want me to call?”

Customer: “Yes, of course!”

(Five minutes pass while his order is being made.)

Coworker: *over the intercom* “Princess Bubblegum, your order is ready!”