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    Suffering A Bipolar Vortex

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Canada, Wild & Unruly

    (I am from California but am visiting some family in Toronto. It’s late December and extremely cold. I’m at a liquor store with my cousin when the customer behind me notices my California ID.)

    Customer: “You’re a long way from home! What brings you out here?”

    Me: “I’m visiting some family.”

    Customer: “What do you think about the weather?”

    Me: “It’s actually quite refreshing. It’s nice having a change of scenery but I don’t think I could do this all the time.”

    Customer: *huffy* “Well, it’s not like this all the time! It’s only cold for about five months! How dare you assume that, you ignorant American!”

    Me: “No, no, no. Of course I know it’s not cold year round. I meant that I personally couldn’t deal with the winter months every year!”

    Customer: “You lying b****! You’re just trying to cover your a**! You stupid Americans think we just live in igloos. I know your type!”

    Me: “I promise you I don’t think that it’s this cold year round. I’ve come to visit many times in the summer.”

    Customer: “Stupid American b****!”

    (My cousin and I just walk away while she continues to hurl insults at me.)