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    Stupidity You Can Bank On

    | Denver, CO, USA |

    Me: “Hello, this is [Bank] how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I deposited money through your ATM machine yesterday and it still isn’t showing up in my account.”

    Me: “Okay, sir, can I just get the card number from the ATM card that you used to make the deposit.”

    Customer: “I didn’t use a card.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, I might have misunderstood. Did you make your deposit into the ATM or the night drop box?”

    Customer: “No, I put it into your machine but I didn’t use a card. I didn’t need one.”

    Me: “Sir, I still don’t understand how you could have made your deposit into the ATM without using a card. Could you please describe the steps you went through?”

    Customer: “I drove up to the machine, filled out an envelope and stuffed it into the little door that said deposit but I didn’t use no card.”

    Me: “Sir, the deposit door on the machine will not open without a card. How exactly did you put the envelope in?”

    Customer: “Whoever designed those machines is a freaking moron. I couldn’t figure out how to open the little door so I got my pocket knife out and pried the door open. Then I stuffed the envelope with my deposit in there as best I could and drove away!”