Stupidity That Can Be Seen From Space

(When taking a call from a customer who has a trash pickup problem I usually pull up an aerial picture to see what the property configuration is.)

Me: “How may I help you, sir?”

Caller: “I think the garbage truck ran over my cement pad and broke the corner.”

Me: “You mean the small pad on the north side of the driveway?”

Caller: *long pause* “Do you memorize everyone’s property?”

Me: “No, I pulled up your property on my computer and I’m looking at a picture of your front yard.”

Caller: “Wow! That’s really amazing! Wait, wait, give me a second!”

(The customer drops the phone and I can hear him calling someone as he leaves the room. About one minute later he gets back on the phone and is slightly out of breath.)

Caller: “Can you see her now?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand?”

Caller: “My wife! My wife! She’s out on the front lawn in the white bathrobe and curlers. I can see her waving up at you!”