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    Stupidity On Tap

    | Durham, NC, USA |

    (I get a phone call at about 8:00pm on a weeknight. The caller is a young man, and in the background I hear music and hysterical giggling.)

    Caller: “What time do y’all close?”

    Me: “9 o’clock tonight.”

    Caller: “Oh s***! Umm…OK, can you just ring me up for a keg with my credit card, and then leave it outside?”

    Me: “…the keg?”

    Caller: “Yeah.”

    Me: “No.”

    Caller: “What? Why?!”

    Me: “…for a variety of reasons.”