(I notice a customer standing in our fish department examining the turtle tank.)

Me: “Hello. Do you need help sir?”

Customer: “Oh, I was just looking at your turtles. I have some at home and I’ve been wanting to put goldfish in with them. Can I do that?”

Me: “You can, but turtles will usually eat goldfish.”

(He looks genuinely upset at this fact.)

Customer: “Oh. Well can’t I just put a sign in the tank that says ‘Don’t Eat The Goldfish’ so the turtles will know?”

Me: “Sir, turtles can’t read.”

Customer: “They can’t?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Hmm. Well, that’s upsetting.”