Straight-Betting

(I am at my grandfather’s house, and I am about to tell him about my girlfriend.)

Me: “So… I came to tell you that I am a lesbian.”

Grandfather: “Have you told your brother this?”

Me: “What?”

Grandfather: “Does he know?”

Me: “Yes.”

(My grandfather reaches for his wallet and takes out a £10 note. Assuming it is a ‘coming out’ present, I thank him.)

Grandfather: “Don’t thank me, love. Give your brother this.”

Me: “Um… why?”

Grandfather: “Let’s just say that I lost a bet.”