Stop Trying Our Patience

(My cousin is driving our elderly grandmother to an appointment and since there is no other traffic, decides to see if he can get a rise out of her. He speeds up, then comes to a screeching halt at a stop sign.

Grandma: “Quit driving like a maniac!”

Cousin: “I was just following directions; see, it says S-T-O-P. That stands for ‘Squeal Tires On Pavement.'”

Grandma: “It does NOT! It stands for ‘Stop Teasing Old People!'”