At The Top Of His Game

(I am opening fortune cookies after we have ordered takeout. I get one that says, ‘you have a secret admirer.’)

Me: “That’s not even a fortune.”

Husband: “Well, you really don’t know that because you don’t go out much.”

Me: “Excuse me, but I’ve just had a baby. What’s your excuse?”

Husband: “All the things I need are here.” *gestures in front of him*

Me: “That would be a lot sweeter if you didn’t just gesture to the TV and game system.”