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    Speak For Yourself

    | Columbus, OH, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: “My wife sent me in here to pick up some chestnut brown and I can’t find it.”

    Me: “Okay, is that makeup or hair color?”

    Customer: “I don’t know, she just said chestnut brown.”

    Me: “Do you happen to remember the brand name?”

    Customer: “No! She just said chestnut brown. Weren’t you listening?”

    Me: “Well, it sounds like hair dye to me. Let’s have a look.”

    (We both go to the hair coloring aisle and I start to look through every shade in every brand. The man does not help at all; it takes me ten minutes.)

    Me: “Here you go sir, this is Garnier Hair Color, chestnut brown.”

    Customer: “Are you sure that’s it? I don’t want to go home and have to come back.”

    Me: “You could call your wife and ask her.”

    Customer: “She’s not at home. Oh wait, hold on.”

    (He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and begins to read it.)

    Customer: “Yep, Garnier chestnut brown. That’s it!”

    Me: “Sir, no offense, but you could have saved us a lot of time by reading that note in the first place.”

    Customer: “That’s the problem with this country, nobody wants to work anymore!”

    Me: “Yeah, that’s our problem.”