South Paw Prophecy

Me: “Hello there, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I would like a refund on this item, please.”

Me: “Okay, no problem, sir.”

(I start filling out a refund sheet.)

Customer: “Oh! I see that you’re left-handed!”

Me: “Yep!”

Customer: “I pity you…”

Me: “Um… and why should I be pitied, exactly?”

Customer: “How long did your parents live?”

Me: “Er… both of my parents are very much alive, sir.”

Customer: “Oh? What about your grandparents?”

Me: “I saw them a few days ago. They’re alive too, and in great health.”

Customer: “How old are they?”

Me: *telling him their ages* “They’re in great shape.”

Customer: “Then you will die at the age of 70!”

Me: “Here’s your refund, sir…”

Customer: “I wish it weren’t so… good luck to you.”

Me: “Okay…”