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    Sometimes You Want To Go Where Everybody Has A Name

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA |

    Me: “Hello, thank you for calling ****. This is Bryan, may I have your account number?”

    Customer: “Bryan who?”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, for security purposes I’m unable to provide you with my last name. For reference I can provide you my ID number.”

    Customer: “That won’t do, you need to have a last name. I can’t speak to someone without a last name. Make one up please, for my sake.”

    Me: “…OK, for the purposes of this call my name is Bryan Jones.”

    Customer: “Thank you, Mr. Jones. I…”

    (My name isn’t Jones.)