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    Sometimes, Even Yoda Isn’t Enough

    | Ontario, Canada |

    (A coworker and I are sitting in a fairly small booth at the gates of the swimming pool. A sign that reads ‘We Do Not Accept $100 Bills’ is placed right under the sign reading ‘No Refunds Due to Inclement Weather.’)

    Customer: “No refunds due to inclement weather, eh? What if it’s nice?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, very droll.”

    Customer: “Alright, it’s for me and my two kids.”

    (The customer attempts to pay with a hundred dollar bill for something that amounts to about $5.50.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, we can’t accept hundred dollar bills.”

    Customer: “But it’s all I have!”

    Me: “Well, I’m afraid we can’t accept hundred dollar bills. Do you have any debit or credit cards with you?”

    Customer: “No, but I have this hundred!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but we don’t accept hundred dollar bills.”

    Customer: “But it’s all I have!”

    (This repeats for about seven or eight times before I start varying it up a bit.)

    Me: “Bills hundred dollars accept we do not.”

    Customer: “But it’s all I have!”

    Me: “Dollar bills, hundred accept not we do!”

    Customer: “But it’s all I have!”