Something For Nothing Or Nothing For Something, Part 2

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a refund on [Membership]. I never used it.”

Me: “No problem! Actually, I’m looking at your account here and it looks like you tried to buy it, but at the time, your credit card failed, so you never actually purchased it.”

Customer: “But I don’t have it.”

Me: “I know. It looks like you never bought it in the first place. I’m sorry about that.”

Customer: “But I don’t have it and I was never able to use it. So you’re not going to refund me?”

Me: “I can’t–”

Customer: “I can’t believe you’re refusing to refund me!”

Me: “I can’t refund you because you didn’t buy anything.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Just put the money back on my card!”

Me: “I can’t put money back on your card because we never took any off.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you’re refusing to refund me! This is terrible customer service.”

Me: “Sir, you never bought anything. How can I give you back money we never took from you? Where would the money come from?”

Customer: “Just give it to me! Why is this so hard?”

Me: “Okay, can you look at your credit card and tell me the exact date that we charged you? If it turns out that your records are more correct than mine, I’m happy to refund you.”

Customer: “No! I’m not going to do that! Why should I check my credit card statement!?”

Me: “According to our records, you never bought anything. I can’t give you back money that you didn’t spend. If our records are wrong, I can refund you.”

Customer: “I’m not going to check anything! This is the worst customer service experience I have ever had! I can’t believe you’re giving me such a hard time over such a small amount of money!”

Me: “Actually, I’m giving you such a hard time over no money because you never bought anything.”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager!”