Some Sprinkles Come With Sergeants

(At the restaurant where I work, my boyfriend is visiting me. He’s just gotten home from the army and is still in uniform. A customer approaches me.)

Customer: *points at sprinkles* “Excuse me, there is ice in my ice cream!”

Me: “Sir, those are sprinkles. You asked for rainbow sprinkles.”

Customer: “They are too cold to be sprinkles, so they must be ice!”

Me: “The ice cream is what’s making them cold, sir.”

Customer: “You’re a liar, you b****! Get me your f***ing manager!”

(Unwilling to take the customer’s abusive behavior, my boyfriend speaks up.)

My Boyfriend: “Those are f***ing sprinkles, you a**hole! If you don’t like it, then just go home and make your own ice cream!”

Customer: *quickly exits the restaurant*

Manager: *to my boyfriend* “You should stop by more often! I’ll even pay you to handle these customers!”