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    Some Computer Owners Just Can’t Hack It

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Top

    (A customer walks up to the counter and sets a plastic shopping bag down.)

    Customer: “You have to help me!”

    Me: “I’d be more than happy to assist you, ma’am. What seems to be the problem today?”

    Customer: “I’m being hacked! You have to get them to stop using my computer!”

    Me: “Do you have your computer with you so that I can see what’s going on?”

    (She just turns the bag upside down. Parts of a laptop spill everywhere motherboard, LCD panel, hinges, keyboard, palm rest, etc.)

    Me: “Uh, ma’am? Why did you dismantle your computer?”

    Customer: “That’s the only way to get them to stop! When computers are powered down, they aren’t really off! Those people in India are hacking into them while you have them off and are using it
    to teach their kids how to speak English! That’s why jobs are outsourced!”

    Me: “I really don’t think I can help you, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well, put back together my computer! I have a warranty with you people. I’ll get the FBI or police to help me with the hackers.”

    Me: “Our warranty does not cover you taking apart your computer.”

    Customer: “Oh my God! You’re one of the people helping those hackers, aren’t you?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: “Aren’t you?!”