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    Smoke Your Veggies

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Top

    (I’m a waitress taking the order of a little girl and her mother.)

    Young Daughter: “I’ll get the mac’n’cheese. Extra cheesy!”

    Mother: “No, you certainly will not. It’s your third day eating mac n’ cheese, missy! You’re going to get chicken and broccoli.”

    Young Daughter: “But mommy! Eddie said that broccoli is bad for you!”

    Mother: “Your brother most certainly did not!”

    Young Daughter: “Yeah! The other day I saw him smoking his broccoli and when I asked if I could he looked at me and said that it’s very bad for little girls like me. His eyes were all red and everything!”

    Mother: “When was this?!”

    Young Daughter: “Yesterday! But his friend brought over more broccoli today. They’re weird.”

    Me: *feeling very awkward* “Ma’am, I can get the check for you if you’d like to leave?”

    Mother: “That’d be great. And could you box up an order of mac’n’cheese please? Oh, and some really good smelling stuff? I figure they’ll have the munchies and I want to torture them.”