Slanged Up Gets You Banged Up

(I work in a second-hand store. We are similar to a pawn store, but we don’t offer loans. It’s been a really hectic day, and my patience is starting to wear a little thin. A wannabe ‘thug-gangsta’ comes in, and throws a few PS3 games at me.)

Thug: “I wanna pawn deez.”

Me: “Sorry man, we don’t pawn. If you’d like to sell them, I’ll take a look for you.”

(The thug nods, and I check the games for condition, and then look up the games for their value.)

Me: “Alright man, given how these games have been marked down, you’re looking at about $27.”

Thug: “H*** no! You know how much I paid for dem?!”

Me: “Yeah, I’m a gamer. I understand what price the games were, but given how old these games are, they’re not worth as much now.”

Thug: “F*** you! They ain’ worf nothin’!”

Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to keep the language down, or take your things and leave.”

Thug: “Who the f*** is you?! You can’t tell me what to do; matter of fact I got the ratchet in the car!”

(Ratchet is slang for a gun. I decide to act stupid.)

Me: “A Ratchet? What kind is it? Snap-On, Mac-Tools? What? Bring it in I’ll see if I can’t get you anything for it.”

(The thug starts to get louder. A regular of mine walks in. He’s a cop, and off duty. He’s watching the thug with an arched eyebrow.)

Thug: “No you fat mother-f*****. I got a gun in the car, and I will shoot you!”

Me: “Sir, do you realize you’re threatening me in front of an off-duty police officer?”

Thug: “Ain’t no mother-f****** police in here!”

(I see the cop behind him pull out his wallet to show his badge, and I just smirk.)

Me: “Turn around.”

(The thug turns around, and sees the badge. He snatches his games off the table, and runs out of the door. The police officer gives me his cell phone number, telling me to call him if that thug comes back.)