(I work as a barista at my local coffee shop.)

Customer: “I’d like a coffee to go.”

Me: “Awesome, did you want the small size or the big one?”

Customer: “Small. I might be a big guy, but I have a small thing—” *catches himself* “I mean, I like small things—” *catches himself again*

Me: “It’s okay—”

Customer: “I mean…uh…small. I will take a small cup, fill it with coffee, and then leave so you and your coworker can laugh at me.”

Me: *smiles and contains laughter* “That’ll be $1.75.”

Related:
Size Matters, Part 8
Size Matters, Part 7
Size Matters, Part 6
Size Matters, Part 5
Size Matters, Part 4
Size Matters, Part 3
Size Matters, Part 2
Size Matters