Signs This Store Needs More Signs

(I walk up to a chocolate store. I’ve checked for store hours or an open/closed sign on the door, but it lacks both. The door is not locked and all the lights are on.)

Clerk: “Oh, we’re closed.”

Me: “Oh, okay.”

Clerk: “The last employee must not have locked the door.”

Me: “Sure.”

Clerk: “The registers are all shut down. You know, we closed ten minutes ago!”

Me: “Okay, yeah, I get that. Sorry, I had no way of knowing you were closed. You might want to ask for, like, a ‘closed’ sign.”

Clerk: “It says 10-8 right there on the door!” *points to credit card symbols*

Me: “Uh…”

(The clerk shoos me out, snaps the lock shut, glares at me, and then stomps to the back room. I examined the door closely. The only things on it were the store logo, the accepted credit cards, and a tag encouraging me to “Shop Local.”)