October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Should Keep Better Account Of Their Account

| USA | Money, Technology

(I work for a company that provides online subscriptions of technical software. A customer calls us from Colorado.)

Customer: “I need the password to my account.”

Me: “I can assist you with that; can you verify your username?”

Customer: “I don’t know it. That’s why I’m calling you.”

Me: “Okay. Well, how about your email address?”

Customer: “Try these…”

(He gives me five email addresses. I search them all.)

Me: “Sir, I can’t find these. Can you tell me the company name?”

Customer: “Try these…”

(He gives me two company names. I am getting suspicious, but I look them up anyway.)

Me: “Sir, I still can’t find these. What about any names that may be on the account.”

Customer: “F***! We signed up six months ago, and spent $2500 with your d*** company! We haven’t even used your s*** yet, so you better find my password.”

Me: “Would you have a confirmation number?”

Customer: “NO! Where the f*** would that be?”

Me: “It would’ve been sent in an email.”

Customer: “That was six months ago! Who the f*** keeps emails that long?”

Me: “Well, if I’d spent $2500 on something, I’d try to keep track of it.”

Customer: “F*** you. You’re not helping me because you don’t f****** want to. I want to speak to your supervisor.”

Me: “Sir, I am the supervisor. And if you have no confirmation number, no receipt, no username, no valid email address, no valid company name, and no valid customer name, I have no way to look up your account.”

Customer: “Look it up under [somewhat common name].”

Me: “Well, I do have one customer under that name.”

Customer: “That’s it!”

Me: “But he’s out of Texas, and he has never purchased what you say you’ve purchased.”

Customer: “Well it may be under Jennifer’s name.”

Me: “What’s Jennifer’s last name?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Just give me Jennifer’s account.”

Me: “Sir, we have at least 150 registered users named Jennifer.”

Customer: “Well find one out of Colorado and give me her username.”

Me: “If you’d like to tell ‘Jennifer’ to call us and give us authorization to give you access to her account, I’d be more than happy to help you.”

Customer: “Oh f*** you, you guys are worthless.” *hangs up*