Shoplift And Drag And Haul Away

(Furniture stores typically require the sales staff to discretely follow customers in order to be on hand if there are any questions.)

Me: “Welcome to [Furniture Store]. Do you see anything you like?”

Customer: “What’s that supposed to mean? What, you think I’m gonna take something? I got money. I don’t need to steal anything from your store.”

Me: “No, ma’am. I was just checking to see if you needed any help. I didn’t think you were trying to take anything.”

Customer: “I’m no shoplifter. I said I got money. What, you think I’m gonna try to take something outta here?”

Me: “It’s a furniture store, ma’am. If you can fit a loveseat in your pocket, you’re welcome to it.”

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