(Furniture stores typically require the sales staff to discretely follow customers in order to be on hand if there are any questions.)

Me: “Welcome to *** Furniture.¬†Do you see anything you like?”

Customer: “What’s that supposed to mean? What, you think I’m gonna take something? I got money.¬†I ain’t gotta steal nothing from your store.”

Me: “No, ma’am. I was just checking to see if you needed any help. I didn’t think you were trying to take anything.”

Customer: “I ain’t no shoplifter. I said I got money. What, you think I’m gonna try to take something outta here?”

Me:¬†”It’s a furniture store, ma’am. If you can fit a loveseat in your pocket, you’re welcome to it.”