(We have a female customer who is a regular but definitely has some kind of mental issues. On every visit to our branch she also uses the safe deposit box.)

Customer: “Excuse me, there’s something wrong with my safe deposit box.”

Me: “Oh, I’m terribly sorry ma’am. What is the problem so we can rectify it for you?”

Customer: “Every time I visit my safe deposit box I find things that I never put there. Someone has been taking things in and out of my box!”

Me: “I assure you that this is not possible because every box requires two keys in order to open. You have one side and the bank retains the other. Only you have the issued keys.”

Customer: “I know you are lying. I know you have a key that opens very box because one time a friend of mine gave me a key to the city and I went around opening all the doors.”

Me: “Ok…I’m going to have to refer you to my manager.”