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    Shatter-Resistant, Not Idiot-Resistant

    | ME, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

    Customer #1: “Hey, these bowls say shatter-resistant… that means that don’t break, right?”

    Me: “Well, it doesn’t mean they don’t break. ‘Shatter-resistant’ just means they’re much harder to break.”

    Customer #1: “Huh… that’s really neat.”

    (Customer #1 and #2 seem fascinated by shatter-resistant bowls, and thus begin to experiment. They begin to tap the bowls, nicking the bowls with their finger. One even starts to lightly bang it on the shelf. Then Customer #1 nods to Customer #2, and then SUMO SLAMS the bowl at full force into the ground, shattering the bowl to pieces.)

    Customer #1: “Wha… why did the bowl break?”

    Me: “As I said, the bowls were shatter-resistant not shatter-proof.”

    Customer #2: “But they broke!” *to Customer #1* “That’s false advertisement.”

    Customer #1: “Yeah! That’s false advertisement! I want my money back.”

    Me: “Um, you didn’t buy anything, though.”

    Customer #1: “So! That’s false advertisement! I demand my money back or to talk to your manager.”

    (I decide at this point that I doubt these customers will even listen to me, so I call down my manager.)

    Manager: “Hello there. How may I help you today?”

    Customer #1: “These bowls say they are shatter-resistant, but they still broke when I dropped it on the ground! That means it’s false advertisement.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, but shatter resistant means it’s harder to break. It does not mean it’s shatter proof.”

    Customer #1: “Well, I want my money back for this worthless product.”

    Manager: “Well, we can do that if you have your receipt.”

    Customer #1: “Oh, I didn’t buy any of them yet.”

    Customer #2: “But it’s false advertisement. She deserves her money back.”

    Manager: “Ma’am, I cannot refund you your money if you didn’t buy anything.”

    Customer #1: “But it’s false advertisement! I want my money back.”

    Manager: “Again, I can’t refund you your money if you didn’t buy anything…”

    (These two customers went back and forth with my manager for at least a half hour. My manager had security escort them out because they began to break more bowls to prove their point!)