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    Served With Just Desserts

    | Scotland, UK | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work at a restaurant which is very gay-friendly. It’s not actually a gay restaurant, but half the waiting staff, two of the chefs, and the owner are all gay or bi. Many of the customers are gay couples. A tourist couple, a man and woman, comes in, and sits at a table.)

    Me: *flamboyantly* “Hi, welcome! Here are your menus—”

    Customer #1: “We want another server!”

    Me: “Sorry, but I’m the only one that’s free at the moment, and you’re sitting in my area, but I can help you all the same.”

    (The couple stands up and walk to another table on the other side of the restaurant. Their server comes up to the table; she’s a young woman who dresses very alternatively.)

    Server: “Hi, there! Would you like to look at—”

    (The couple stands up again, this time moving to a table being served by the only straight server in the restaurant today. They order happily, and the server leaves. The table is right next to the large opening where you can see the chefs cooking your food. The customers can be heard by one of the chefs,—who happens to be my boyfriend.)

    Customer #1: “I can’t believe they let those people work with food. They’ll contaminate it.”

    Customer #2: “I know! But don’t let it get to you; we have a good server now.”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, but just look at them. That first man probably has AIDS, and they let him work in a restaurant! It’s disgusting!”

    Chef: “Excuse me; please don’t talk about him that way. He doesn’t have AIDS. Even if he did, you wouldn’t catch it just because he served you food. He’s also my boyfriend, so stop it, or you’ll upset me and him.”

    (The couple remains quiet until their server bring their drinks.)

    Customer #1: “Make sure that thing doesn’t cook or touch any of my food.”

    Server: “Sorry, I can’t do that. He is one of our best chefs, and he deals with items that you have ordered.”

    Customer #2: “Well, have someone else make our food, someone clean!”

    Server: “I assure you that our chefs take hygiene very seriously. We are very highly rated from health and safety—”

    Customer #1: “MANAGER! NOW!”

    (Their server gets the manager, a very well-dressed and flamboyant man.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer #1: “You’re one too?! A dirty gay! I can’t believe it! F*** you! F*** you all! Don’t any of you touch my food, my wife, or me! I don’t want your any of your dirty gay diseases!”

    (The customers start referring to their server.)

    Customer #2: “And to think you surround this poor boy with your heathen ways!” *to the server* “Come now, son, leave with us and we can save you from this evil lot!”

    (All of the servers have gathered around the area. Many of the regular customers and their partners join too.)

    Server: “You know what, you’re right! Why should I have to work in a place with such nasty people?”

    (The couple smiles and move towards him, as if to take him away.)

    Server: “You two, get the f*** out of here and leave me alone! We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, and you most certainly are not welcome here!”

    (The couple runs out, flustered and embarrassed.)

    Manager: “I couldn’t have said it any better myself!”

    Server: “Thanks, Dad!”