(It’s 10pm we are in the final motions of locking up, registers closed and lights off. I’m just locking the door.)

Customer: *runs up in a panic* “Oh no! You are closed? It’s an emergency! I really need to buy one thing!”

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed. Maybe you could come back in the morning.”

Customer: “No! I can’t wait that long-this is an emergency! Please help me!”

Me: “OK, I suppose I can help you quickly for an emergency. Do you need antibiotics or paracetamol or something?”

Customer: “I need a packet of hair pins!”