Customer: “Where are all of your baked goods?!”

Me: “We’re going to be closing here in about five minutes, and we usually don’t bring out any fresh baked goods at this time–”

Customer: “Well, in Europe they bake all day long!”

Me: “Well…we do things a bit differently in America. Would you perhaps like some of our half-priced baked goods?”

Customer: “Eh, no…what’s this thing?” *pointing*

Me: “A baguette.”

Customer: “Yeah, I’ll have that.”

Me: “OK…would you like me to cut that up for you and give you some butter?”

Customer: “Nah, I’ll just bite chunks off of it.”

Me: “…”