(I work at a co-op food store and it’s not uncommon for people to eat an apple or something while they shop and pay for it at the register. A woman comes to the check out line and I notice an empty raw fish package.)

Customer: *trying to be discrete* “Oh…um…I’m also paying for this.”

(She holds up the empty raw fish package.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me, did…did you eat that?”

Customer: “Keep it down! I don’t want the entire store to know!”