Penetrative Money Issues

(My wife and I have just finished making a purchase at a store and are walking out to the car.)

Wife: “I know they give added security, but I don’t like the new credit-card readers where you have to put the card in chip-side first. It’s awkward.”

Me: “What?”

Wife: “It seems… I dunno, invasive.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I see what you’re saying. Because you can’t just swipe it anymore.”

Wife: “You have to, like, stick it in.”

Me: “You’re not just giving it an unwanted caress; you’re actually, what, penetrating it?”

Wife: “Exactly! Maybe it’s uncomfortable for the credit-card reader.”

Me: “We didn’t get its consent first.”

Wife: “Yeah, how would YOU feel if someone just walked up to you and stuck their credit card in without asking.”

(We have reached our car by now and are getting into it.)

Me: “You know… I suddenly understand why some people describe us Californians as ‘bleeding-heart liberals.’”