Unfiltered Story #32406

(There is a girl in sixth grade who was diagnosed with high-functioning autism. Her usual tutor is substituting for my eighth-grade class one day. While I am taking a science test, the sixth-grade teacher enters.)

Sixth-Grade Teacher: [Substitute Teacher], [Student] has a spelling test today.

Substitute Teacher: Sorry, but I’m subbing here today. Maybe one of these students could read out the words?

(By now, I’ve noticed this and raise my hand. It is decided that I’ll read to her after I finish my test. I sit back down next to my friend. Note that I am exceptionally tall, and he is exceptionally short.)

Friend: I hereby knight you… *taps me on each shoulder with his eraser* …Sir [My Name]… for your immense bravery.

(I finish the test and go to the multipurpose room to read out the words to the student. The test goes uneventfully except for this friend saluting me while walking past. When I get back…)

Friend: *bows to me* You’re half the man I’ll ever be—both in size and in bravery.