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    Santa Goes Psycho

    | New Jersey, USA |

    (I am stocking Christmas ribbon with a coworker.)

    Customer: “You two ladies look like you can help me.”

    Me: “Sure, what do you want to know?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a tree.”

    Me: “Ok, the trees are in the back of the store under the ‘Seasonal’ sign.”

    Customer: “No, no. Let me finish. I want a tree; it’s circular, but it’s a tree, and it’s a circle, but it’s only a half-circle, but it’s a tree. Oh! And you hang it on your window, and it’s a tree, and a circle.”

    Me & Coworker: “…”

    Customer: “IT’S A TREE, AND IT’S A CIRCLE AND A TREE, AND YOU HANG IT ON YOUR WINDOW, BUT IT’S ONLY A HALF-CIRCLE, BUT IT’S A CIRCULAR TREE!!

    Me: “Uh…a wreath?”

    Customer: “NO, NO, WHAT THE F***?! IT’S A CIRCLE AND A TREE, AND IT’S A CIRCLE AND A HALF-CIRCLE, AND YOU HANG IT ON YOUR WINDOW!”

    Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

    Customer: “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS?!”

    Me: “No…sorry, sir.”

    Customer: “Well, is there someone else in here that can help me?”

    Coworker: “There are other people here, but with that description I doubt anyone will be able to help you.”

    Customer: “OH, WHAT THE F***?!”

    (Customer storms off, but a moment later comes back.)

    Customer: “Oh, by the way, do you sell Jello here?”

    Me: “Um, no. We’re a craft store, not a grocery store.”

    Customer: “Well, people use Jello for crafts.”

    Me: “Uh, sorry.”

    Customer: “SERIOUSLY! THEY HIRE F***ING IDIOTS HERE!” *storms off…again*