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    Sabotage By Numbers

    | Boston, MA, USA |

    (We have a rewards program that mails out free coupons for shopping. We need to verify each customer’s account in order for them to earn their coupons. There are two customers in my line, one young woman, and behind her one middle aged woman.)

    Me: “Do you receive your coupons?”

    Customer 1: “Yeah, I think so.”

    Me: “Alright, what’s your phone number?”

    Customer 1: “Oh, it’s–”

    Customer 2: “You don’t have to give that, you know.”

    (Customer 1 looks confused.)

    Me: “Well, we need to look you up so that you get credit for the purchase, and get your discounts. I can look it up by mail or email if you’d prefer. Which do you get?”

    Customer 1: “I get–”

    Customer 2: “Nope. Don’t do it. That’s how they find you. They find your pin numbers and bra size that way.”

    Customer 1: “I…Um.”

    Me: “We don’t need your bra size.”

    Customer 1: “Well, let’s just skip it. I can’t remember what I get. It’s fine.”

    (I finish the transaction, and Customer 2 approaches.)

    Me: “So I’m guessing you don’t get coupons either.”

    Customer 2: “Of course I do. I just didn’t want her to use them all before I got here. And I’m a 34B.”