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    Revenge Is A Dish Best Served By Wives

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Top

    (At the nursing home where I work, we can sell lunches to visitors, but can’t sell them after 11:00. It’s a bummer, but usually people are understanding.)

    Customer: “I need to buy a lunch.”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, sir, but we can’t sell lunches after 11:00.”

    Customer: “Why not? ”

    Me: “Well, it’s so that the kitchen knows how many trays to have ready by lunchtime. They start on dinner almost as soon as lunch is served.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m hungry.”

    Me: “I really am sorry. I wish I could help, but lunch was served two hours ago. We do have a vending machine, and there are a couple of fast food places nearby.”

    Customer: “Are you stupid?”

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: “I will sue you guys!”

    Me: “I really am sorry.”

    Customer: “I will sue you! Your lunch policy is ridiculous! This is what happens when little girls like you work in men’s jobs!”

    Me: “A man’s job?”

    Customer: “Yes! Since you obviously can’t do it since you’re a fifteen-year-old girl.”

    Me: “I’m twenty-one, sir.”

    Customer: “Then why aren’t you married?”

    Me: “…because my boyfriend hasn’t asked me yet?”

    Customer: “You should get married, get out of here, and let a man do your job.”

    Me: “…my job as a receptionist?”

    Customer: “He’d do it right! I am going to the biggest man here and complaining about your policies!”

    Me: “The biggest man here is a woman, sir.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Everyone in our business office is female, and so is our administrator.”

    Customer: “This place is doomed!”

    (Half an hour later, I ended up buying him a turkey sandwich from a nearby deli when I went out to get my own lunch. Not surprisingly, he didn’t thank me. However, this cloud has a silver lining: I also met his wife, who smacked him upside the head and called him a jacka**.)