A Note-Worthy Incident

Substitute Teacher: “Good morning, class! I’m Miss [Substitute Teacher], and this is my first day teaching a class!”

(Cue seven-year-old kids acting up for a couple hours. My friend finds a washer under his desk and puts it on his finger, and finds that he can’t take it off. He approaches the teacher, who also can’t take it off.)

Substitute Teacher: “You’ll need to go to the school nurse. Here’s a note.”

Note: “[Friend]’s finger needs to be amputated.”

(My friend reads the note. He doesn’t know what “amputated” means, but knows it can’t be good. He goes to the school nurse.)

Nurse: *reads note* “Oh, boy! We’re going to have to cut your finger off! First we’ll have to break it one way, then the other…”

(While my friend is practically fainting at the thought of going home missing a finger, the nurse has already soaped the washer off.)

Nurse: “Okay, who wrote this stupid note?”

Friend: “Miss [Substitute Teacher].”

Nurse: “That new lady that came in today? Go to the cafeteria and bring back a packet of taco sauce.”

(My friend does so. The nurse tapes his finger down, puts some gauze and taco sauce on the end, and sends him back to class with a note of her own:)

Note: “The deed has been done!”

(My friend goes back to class and shows the teacher the note and his hand. She turns pale, and takes off down the hall screaming.)

Friend: *chases after her, showing his (uninjured) finger* “It’s really okay, Miss [Substitute Teacher]! See?”

(The substitute kept going, and was never seen at that school again. I don’t know who took over the class for the rest of the day.)