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    Recaf My Decaf

    | Texas, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Me: “Thanks for calling [pizza delivery]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I’d like to speak to your manager on duty.”

    Me: “That would be me. What can I do for you?”

    Caller: “I had placed an order with you earlier, and got [caffeinated soft drink] and [non-caffeinated soft drink]. I opened [non-caffeinated soft drink] and it tasted funny and raised my blood pressure. You must have tampered with it and added caffeine. I’d like a replacement.”

    Me: “I can assure you that your drink wasn’t tampered with. It’s in sealed bottle from the manufacturer. But, what would you like instead?”

    Caller: “I’d like another drink.”

    (I list the four drinks we carry, three of which have caffeine.)

    Caller: “I’d like a [another caffeinated soft drink].”

    Me: “So, you’re going to replace [non-caffeinated soft drink] that was supposedly tampered with and had caffeine added for a drink that is guaranteed to have caffeine?”

    Caller: “You got it!”

    Me: *sighs* “It’ll be the in about thirty minutes, sir. Have a nice day…”