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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Ready To Bust His Pipes

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Bigotry, Home Improvement, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a fairly petite, young looking woman, who grew up with three brothers, and a single father. I’m one of the better employees for plumbing help, because my dad made me learn.)

    Me: “Welcome to [store]; what’s the project today?”

    Customer: “My toilet leaks; I need one of your guys to help.”

    Me: “Let’s head to plumbing. Where is the leak from?”

    Customer: “I want one of the guys, and not some idiot girl.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll radio one of them.”

    (A coworker responds, and I turn the customer over and go back to restocking. A few minutes later, the customer storms up.)

    Customer: “This is the stupidest hardware store! Where’s your manager?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry; what’s the problem?”

    Customer: “I want your manager!”

    Me: “They’ll be in tomorrow morning.”

    (The customer stomps out. The next day, I’m in plumbing. I am helping one of our regular contractors, when yesterday’s cranky customer returns.)

    Customer: “I want your manager!”

    (The cashier radio calls them, and the owner actually responds first.)

    Owner: “What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “You have idiots working here! They can’t help in plumbing!”

    (The owner gestures to me.)

    Owner: “Sir, she is one of our plumbing experts, and was on last night.”

    Customer: “I know that no idiot girl can help!”

    (The contractor walks up.)

    Contractor: “Watch your mouth! She is the best help you can get without calling a professional!”

    Customer: “NO! Girls should be cashiers, and flirt with customers!”

    Owner: “Sir, you’ll have to leave.”

    Customer: “You can’t make me!”

    Me: “Sir. I have two police officer brothers, a correctional officer father, a jujitsu trainer brother, and my martial arts training. You are leaving. By your choice or by force.”

    (For a few moments, the customer contemplates if it’s worth the fight, but ultimately decides against it.)

    Contractor: “Man, you ruin all my fun by giving him a choice!”

    Owner: “Don’t encourage her. She isn’t in the gym, so she can’t go dislocating elbows here.”

    Contractor: “Now both of you are ruining my fun!” *leaves*