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    Re-Vamping Dracula

    | El Paso, TX, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hi, I need to get a refund for this book. You gave me the wrong book.”

    Me: “Didn’t you ask for Dracula?”

    Customer: “No! I read this book and it is nothing like the movie.”

    Me: “Actually, Francis Ford Coppola completely re-wrote the story when he filmed his version of Dracula. I can help you find that version, if you’d like.”

    Customer: “No! I want the Van Helsing version.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Yeah, in Van Helsing, Van Helsing is the main character and he fights Dracula and Frankenstein.”

    Me: “That film is a complete work of fiction. Van Helsing never fought Frankenstein or Frankenstein’s monster.”

    Customer: “Yes he did! The movie said so! What do you know?”

    Me: “Bram Stroker was a little boy when Mary Shelley died, so she never read Dracula.”

    Customer: “I think you are lying. The movie and Hugh Jackman would never lie!” *storms off*

    Customer #2: *overhearing* “I hate Hollywood.”