Rated I For Immature, Part 3

(Two older women have come in to see a popular, R-rated film. They are quite giddy and cheerful.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Customer #1: “Two senior tickets for [film], please!”

Customer #2: “I’m paying! Don’t let her pay, it’s her birthday!”

Customer #1: “No, I’ve got it!”

Customer #2: *moves between her friend and me* “No, I’m paying!” *she pays* “Don’t mind us, we’ve just escaped from the nursing home.”

Customer #1: “Don’t tell our kids we’re here!”

(I smile, and they go to their movie. An hour and a half later, I see them walking out, quiet and looking stunned.)

Customer #1: “We are not telling our kids we saw that!”